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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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I start asking questions. Turns out, he was at a café on HaMaccabi St. for like three hours. I’m thinking, “Dude, you could’ve just said you left it at the café!” But no, he’s gotta make it dramatic. I’m rolling my eyes so hard, I think I might’ve strained something.

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